Feel Like You’ve Lost Yourself in Motherhood? Finding Your “Unicorn Space” May Be the Answer…
Motherhood is probably the greatest identity shift you will ever experience: one minute, you’re a complex, multi-faceted human with hobbies, ambitions, and a social life. The next, you’re someone’s snack-fetcher, nap battler, and personal crisis manager, all rolled into one.
I know this feeling all too well. There was a time when I felt completely depleted & lost… constantly at my kids’ beck and call and recipient of extreme toddler meltdowns. My days were a blur of diaper changes, tantrum negotiations, and meal prepping (that never got eaten). I had no sense of self outside of being a mom, and it was taking a toll on my patience and happiness. You’ve never felt so needed, yet so worthless, all at the same time. But when I finally carved out time for something that was just for me—something that made me feel creative and engaged, and gave me a sense of purpose outside of my four walls—I noticed a shift. I became more patient, more energized, and ultimately, a better mother.
So what did you do? I hear you ask…
During my first experience of matrescence, I took a 2 month long woodworking course. The second time around, The MotherFlock, has become my unicorn space. ❤️
If you’re nodding along, feeling like your pre-mom self is a distant memory, you’re not alone. The good news? There’s a way to reclaim your identity, and it doesn’t involve abandoning your kids to live off the grid. Enter: your unicorn space.
What Is a “Unicorn Space” and Why Does It Matter?
Coined by Eve Rodsky in Find Your Unicorn Space, the term refers to the creative, fulfilling activities that make you feel alive—something just for you, beyond work and parenting. It’s not self-care in the “take a bubble bath” sense (though those are nice too). It’s about pursuing something that lights you up, fuels your curiosity, and reminds you that you’re a whole person outside of motherhood.
And let’s be clear: this isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity. Studies show that engaging in creativity and personal passion projects improves mental health, boosts confidence, and even makes us better parents. Because when you’re constantly running on empty, you’re not showing up as the best version of yourself for your family (or, let’s be honest, for yourself).
Finding Your Unicorn Space
Okay, so you’re convinced you need one. But how do you actually find it? Start here:
1. Ditch the Guilt
Repeat after me: Taking time for yourself is not selfish. Your kids benefit from seeing you passionate and engaged in something that brings you joy. When they see you prioritize your own fulfillment, they learn to do the same.
2. Revisit Your Pre-Mom Interests
Before kids, what made you lose track of time? Painting? Writing? Dance? Baking elaborate cakes that no one asked for? Dig into what used to bring you joy and see if it still sparks something.
3. Try Something New
If your old passions don’t excite you anymore, it’s time to experiment. Take a class, start a project, pick up an instrument, or join a local group. Give yourself permission to be bad at something new—this isn’t about perfection, it’s about joy.
4. Make It Non-Negotiable
You wouldn’t cancel a doctor’s appointment, right? Treat your unicorn space the same way. Block off time for it, communicate it to your family, and stick to it like your sanity depends on it (because, well, it kind of does).
5. Find Your People
Everything’s more fun (and more likely to happen) when you have accountability. Find a community of other moms who are also prioritizing their unicorn space. Need a place to start? Check out these Vancouver-based ideas in the following article.
Reclaim Yourself—One Unicorn Space at a Time
Motherhood changes you, but it doesn’t have to erase you. Your identity is still there, waiting to be rediscovered. So go find that unicorn space—paint, dance, write, create. Because you deserve a life that’s full of you, not just full of to-do lists.
Check out our page: Find Your Unicorn Space
