There’s grace in feeling deeply…

Matrescence Tales

Matrescence Tales

Written by LW

When was your baby born?

July 2024

Where was your baby born?

Kelowna General Hospital

Can you share your birth story?

My water broke on my due date. I had a feeling baby would come that day and I was all for it as I was measuring very large with lots of fluid in my abdomen. I actually paddle boarded that day and had a lot of energy, ate spicy food and did “all the things” to help baby come. 430pm I laid down for a nap and I heard a pop. I quickly rushed to the washroom and there was a slow trickle for quite some time. We called labour & delivery and went in to KGH and they checked us and said I wasn’t in labour yet. We got sent home with instructions to come back no later than 8am the next day.

The next day I was admitted. By lunch time I was having intense pain and my contractions were very close together so, my nurse called the anesthesiologist in for an epidural. It slowed my labour quite a lot. I was only 9cm dilated around 9pm but they let me start pushing as I was 24 hours past my water being broken and they were worried about infection. It was interesting to learn how to push and lean into the pain and trust your body and contractions.

I pushed for 1.5 hours after being told baby was probably too big and I may need a c-section. I was mad as I did not want that outcome. I ended up pushing for 3 hours total and baby arrived just before midnight. They were prepping for shoulder displacia and suddenly a lot of people were in the room but he came out, thank god! He actually came out with the umbilical cord around his neck but the doctor removed it super fast and there was no issue. She placed him on my body right away I was overcome with emotion and instantly started to cry.

We didn’t know the babies gender and they let my husband tell me and this was the most special part of the whole experience. I still remember him whispering into my ear “it’s a boy!” Such a special moment! I wouldn’t have cared either way… I was so relieved to have the baby out. LOL! He was 8lbs 13oz, 21.5” long, and healthy!!

What do you wish you had known going into the birth? What are you proud of?

That if you choose to have an epidural you will have to have a Catheter put in and if you eat after (even fruit) you will throw up your food. Trust your nurse on this;) I was very hungry all day and I wished I had eaten a bigger breakfast going into labour that morning. I am proud of being able to give birth to an 8lb 13oz baby. Period! Labour pushed me to a place I could never imagine but as hard as it was, it was also super empowering. I also loved how supportive my husband was during labour and how much his words of encouragement carried me through the pain.

What did the first few days/weeks look like? Emotionally/mentally/physically. Any tips you could share?

I think you’re on an adrenaline rush for your first week! I didn’t have a traumatic birth, it was actually quite an incredible experience overall. The first couple of days at the hospital were great since you got fed and the nurses came to check in on you and the baby. There’s so much joy with your baby and excitement. The first couple of weeks was a lot of “new” moments. Trying to learn how to breast feed, how to burp baby, change baby, figuring out which sleep sacks work and don’t. To swaddle or not to swaddle. Lol! The list goes on.

Physically no one told me about the hollow feeling of an empty stomach all of a sudden with no baby inside. This was weird and very uncomfortable. Mentally/emotionally I was very hormonal and I cried a lot, like really cried. But there was also so much joy in the house from our baby and so much purpose. It’s an interesting time when you’re healing but you’re also caring for a newborn baby. It’s intense and tiring and so special all at once. I wasn’t expecting the crazy intense love that I felt for my son. It’s unlike anything else in the world.

How have you found the transition to motherhood? What has been the hardest part?

I think it’s been super natural which I wasn’t expecting, I truly I love being a mom! My son is a happy happy baby and smiles and laughs a ton which is so special. He is at a super fun age right now and I’m loving it. The hardest part for me has been my freedom is not mine anymore. My husband can leave the house whenever he wants “on his own” and to be honest I struggled with not resenting him for that. And the worst part is he’s the most hands on, supportive dad and husband, so I feel terrible for feeling this way. It’s just getting used to being a mom and finding new balance.

What is one thing you wish you had known going into postpartum? Any other tips/advice for our moms?

Honestly I don’t think anything can prepare you for it. Have an awesome circle in your corner whether it’s your mom or a best friend that can just listen without judgement. Keep that friend that makes you laugh close too, laughter helps a lot. I also think I gave myself a lot of grace to feel deeply, and in those moments I didn’t judge myself for it. Feeling deeply is part of life and the emotions have to come out too.

How do you feel like your identity has shifted? What strategies have helped re-connect with yourself?

Hugely! Mainly around my business and goals. Nervous about returning to work and day care and a lot of unknowns. I think taking it day by day helps and trying to incorporate something for me, not household chores while he naps but going out for a coffee and getting a massage. Asking my husband to take him so I can sleep in or have a hot tub or a bath. Trying to go for a yoga class once/week. I also think it’s important to get out of the house, sign up for swimming lessons to meet other moms etc. My sister in law really inspired me to get out more as I think if you stay in your house too much it can be quite isolating.

What are you proud of so far in your motherhood journey?

So many things! Being able to breastfeed probably takes the cake by far as I know a lot of women can’t or have a very hard time with it. So I’m very grateful and for me it’s a special special time with my son.

❤️